The Strength Of Belief
The Strength Of Belief By Gill Taggart June 2001 |
| I thought that it would be easy to write this article, but it hasn't been. The main difficulty is that I'm still living with M.E., the constant ups and downs, the feelings of hope during a few brief hours of normality, followed, maybe, by a low period, and intense frustration at the way my life is going. This sometimes makes objectivity difficult. Also, I am aware that the title of this article is “The Strength Of Belief”. I can only comment on this from my own Christian belief, which others may not share. Many years ago, as a young Christian, I would have given an easy answer to the question; how does your faith help you? I would have said that Jesus takes away all your troubles; that Christians may occasionally be ill, but not lonely, and never depressed. But easy answers aren't really answers at all. Anyone can comment on a situation when they don't live with it. Christianity is not a magic cure; it doesn't teach that if you have a perfect theology - view of God - then you will have a perfect life. We all live in an evil world, where dreadful things happen, even to the most sincere believers. I don't know why God allows such things to happen; I can't explain why some people are bed bound with M.E., whereas others just have to curtail their social life for a while. It's not fair: life is not fair. The things I am about to say are what I believe to be true; both the Bible and experience have taught me that. And yet I still struggle at times. My faith doesn't prevent my feelings of frustration and depression, but it does help me. Faith helps me because it teaches me that God is always with me. About 3,000 years ago - a bit before my time! - a young shepherd boy called David wrote the following words: "Even if I were to walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and staff comfort me." (Psalm 23v4). In the New Testament, Jesus himself assured his followers that he would never leave them. I cannot always feel His presence, but it is a great comfort to me when dealing with the isolation that this illness brings. My faith helps me by assuring me that this illness is not a punishment from God. The Bible teaches that I can't do anything to earn God's love, or make myself good enough for heaven. No one can. Heaven is not full of people who've earned enough Brownie points to be there. This, also, is comforting at a time when I feel there's very little I can do. Of course I would like my health back, and be able to get involved with life again. But it won't make a difference as to whether or not I go to heaven. And it won't make God love me any more than He already does. Years ago, I wanted God to heal me of my many allergies to prove His love for me. But the fact is that He already has done. It's written in the New Testament, it's shown in the life of Jesus, who died so that we could have a relationship with His Father. I don't have to do anything to "earn" this love or approval, as I've already said, no one can. And so illness and hardship is certainly not a sign that I don't have it. I also believe in the power of prayer. There is a lot I don't understand about this, and certainly my prayers aren't always answered in the way I think they should be. But I do know the privilege of being able to talk to God on behalf of someone else, and having them do the same for me. Finally, my faith helps me because it teaches me that God can use the nasty and inexplicable things that happen to us, and bring some good out of them. Having M.E. has changed my life. As I've already said, I don't believe that it is a punishment from God, or that He gave it to me. But I believe that He is using it to change me, and can bring some good from it. I have recently begun training as a local preacher in the Methodist church. This was a great encouragement to me, my minister and other leaders know that I am ill, but encouraged me to go for it anyway. I don’t usually talk about my illness, but have mentioned it in a couple of sermons. The result has usually been one of encouragement – if God can be there for me in my struggles, then he can be with others in theirs. Thank you for reading The Strength Of Belief and please take a moment to Tell-A-Friend about it. |
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